My ‘Spiritual’ Journey

So I have this little list of prompts that I sometimes work from, and today’s topic was concerned with a ‘prized possession’ from childhood. As far as I can think back, I never really had anything I was particularly attached to until around the age of 12, which was a sterling silver pentacle pendant on a rope chain, which I wore religiously—quite literally—every day of my life.

This small pendant represented my dedication to the pagan set of beliefs, which I guess at the time for me encompassed all sorts of religions outside of the typical Abrahamic systems. I wore the heck out of that thing. Seriously, I think by the end of it’s time with me it had spanned around 7 years, and had hung from many-a-necklace.

Aww, little teenage me, rocking my penta-cool… still a heartthrob 😉

So what happened to it? And most importantly, what changed?

Put simply, I did, and so too did my notion of the Neo-pagan belief system deeply rooted in some Wiccan revival birthed out of the 50’s.

I’ve never been content to search, find, and then rest. I’ll never be completed. I’ll never find the answer. It’s just not in my makeup. I search, I discover, I explore, I search some more, and so the cycle revolves. By the time I make a full revolution around all my current interests, be they rooted in philosophy, psychology, religion, history, or otherwise, my entire understanding of things, and my position on them, is almost unrecognisable from before. It’s not a changing of mind, but more an evolution of ideas.

And overall I’d say that’s what offers my life some clarity and purpose. Clarity in the unclear, comfort in the chaos, an eternal knowing that I’m not done, that there’s more. That I can purposefully represent my understanding of things at the time, and equally be 100% comfortable in the knowledge that I’m wrong… or more aptly, not entirely right. Not finished. More. Expand it. Follow the tangent, come back, adapt.

There’s always more. There always has been, and there always will be. It’s the way of things.

My journey took me deeper into the various systems that were harboured under the umbrella of paganism, and as that search expanded I found that they all had little business being lumped in together. Each broad enough in themselves and wildly diverse in their stance, opinions, practices, and cultures.

I slowly phased out the pentacle pendent and replaced it for a Mjolnir, or a Thor’s hammer in layman’s terms. This was due to a deep connection to the culture of the Norse people, history, and Gods. It felt natural, normal, and worked for me in principle, action, and mindset. I later discovered that my heritage is famously Viking, and this made total sense to me—but that’s for another post entirely.

Of course, in and amongst this deepening of my understanding of the religions of the world, came an exploration into various schools of philosophy, where I eventually pretty much settled solely on Stoicism as a compass to help direct my outward actions.

Interestingly enough, my earliest writing achievements, and my very branch into writing itself, all stemmed from paganism, and for that, I will always be grateful. The root to all I am now started in that school of thought, and encouraged a broadening of ideas. Without that pentacle I wore around my neck as I grew from boy to man, I would not be the man I have become today. I learned to learn. To think for myself. To explore. To always search, and grow, and evolve. And that has led to a deep interest and fascination in the condition of humanity and all it encompasses.

I’ve come a long way between that little pendant, to get to where I am today, but even to this day I do wear a pendant… Just not one with a religious meaning. I’ve come to rest on a silver wolf tooth, with a wolf’s head, to represent my set of values and nod to my Norse Ancestry at the same time. It’s a representation of me in my entirety. Everything I stand for and believe. My Mjolnir.

How about you? Did you have anything you were attached to as a child? What’s the story there? And what helped shaped you into the person you are today? Let me know in the comments 🙂

If you enjoy musings like this one and want to see more personal style posts, try these 🙂

6 thoughts on “My ‘Spiritual’ Journey

  1. I can relate to that story with my journey. I started out in a similar way with the same symbol. I always gained knowledge, experiencing more but it wasn’t til I found Rodzimowierstwo( The Native Faith, a form of Slavic paganism) I felt more complete in that journey. That’s where it felt really right especially being 3rd generation Polish. The main symbol for that faith is the kołowrót. It’s always good to go back to the root of all things to get grounded from time to time. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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